Today I find myself saying good-bye. Grieving the loss of something very good in exchange for something better. I’m not sad, but I’m aware of the exchange that is about to happen. Change, even the best changes, require a letting go of something else.
The change I anticipate is going from a family of four to a family of five. Five! I’m so excited to welcome this little girl. I can’t wait to meet her and for her to meet her daddy. I get giddy at the thought of introducing her to her brothers. I’m eager to watch the love and the bonds grow between Daddy and Daughter, between Titus and Sister, between Micah and Baby. And of course my own falling-in-love-all-over-again experience with her.
But for today I need to remember and enjoy what it’s like to be a family of four. To read books with Titus and Micah this evening and realize that the moments of snuggling with one arm for each are numbered. To load everyone up in the car and realize that one parent for one child is about to end. To sneak in to kiss sleeping boys and go to my quiet room to sleep all night (sort of maybe) and know that the all night will soon become a series of very broken nights. To savor the sweetness in my relationship with each of my sons, and to know that it will grow, but change, as a new person joins our family.
I can’t wait to meet her. But today I’m saying good-bye to our life as it has been. It has been amazing.