Bedtime whisperings

The last of the last of the last of the bedtime routine has morphed into some kind of competition over who says “I love you” last.  This has led to hysterical crying on more than one occasion.  Since I do not understand the rules of the competition and how to help everyone “win” at this, I try to change the game.  We’ve been ending the day differently, and often it leads to some quiet talking with each boy as they settle down for the night.  How I love to hear their thoughts as they begin to unpack all the experiences they’ve had in the day!

Last night Titus was apparently thinking about the up-coming trip to Florida for a friend’s wedding.  He asked me about the airplane: “Will Daddy ride on the airplane?”  “Yes, Daddy will ride on the airplane.”  “Will Mama ride on the airplane?” “Yes, Titus, I’ll be on the airplane.”  “Will Micah be on the airplane?” “Yes, Micah too.”  “Will I be on the airplane?” “Yes, you too, Titus.”  “All of the family?” “Yes, all of the family, Titus.”  I am so proud of my son for seeking answers to questions that are clearly causing him anxiety.  He’s asked me about this several times, and each time seems relieved to know that we will ALL be there.

For Micah, last night’s pondering were less clear to me.  “Mama,” he said, “I’m not going to bring any toys to the meeting.”  “Okay, Micah…”  what meeting?  Early this morning he announced that he needed to go tell Titus that he is not going to bring any toys to the meeting.  I'm wondering if Titus understood that more than I did!

Car Talk

Titus: I saw a clown!!
Micah: Was is a clown house or a real clown?
T: A real clown, I think.
M: Was it on the sign?
T: Yeah.
M: What color was it?  Was it red, or blue, or yellow...?
T: Yellow, I think.
M: Oh, yellow.  Mama, do you like yellow?
Mama: Oh yes, it's one of my favorites.
M: Do you want a banana?  Bananas are yellow.
Mama: Maybe later.  What else is yellow?
(discussion of yellow things follows)

-------------------

M: It's good to share and I love Daddy.
Mama: Yes, that's wonderful!
T: I love Daddy too!
M: and I love Titus and Mama and Daddy and tiger and kitty...
T: and I love Mama and Micah and Daddy...
Mama: and Mama loves Micah and Titus and Daddy and baby...
Mama: and you know what?  God loves Daddy and Mama and Titus and Micah SOOO much!
M: I love ALLLL of the people!

--------------------

T: Are we on the ramp?
Mama: No, we're on the highway. 
T: Are we on the ramp now?
Mama: No, we're still on the highway.
T: But it feels like we're going down.
Mama: Yes, the highway goes down.  It's going to go under the underpass.
pause
T: How do we get off the highway?
Mama: We go off on the ramp.
pause
T: Are we on the ramp?
Mama: We're on the highway.
M: Are we going fast? Can we go fast?
Mama: Yes, we're going fast.  We can go fast on the highway if there's not too much traffic.
T: But we have to slow down if there's a red light.
Mama: Yes, that's right.
pause
T: Are we on the ramp?
and repeat...
 

Overheard

Here's a partial list of frequently heard phrases in our home:

Aw-right.

any sentence starting with "BUT..."

But I'm HUN-GRY.

... and they died on the cross.

Basically every read Bible story ends this way.  

Example: the story of the plagues: "and the frogs were so happy that they died on the cross."

I'm a ghost.  RAWR!

I Love You.

Where is tiger?

I'm Thirs-Ty.

Thank you God for .....  and .... (not sure what these words are) and thank you for Daddy in India and thank you for this blessed day. In Jesus Name, Amen.

We're not going to do bad things.

What we can do?

You have my sword!  You have my bones! (Thank you Veggie Tales Lord of the Beans)

But I'm not SLEEP-EEEY.

We didn't do bad things.

But it's too SCARE-EY!

What I can help you with?

What does ____ mean?

The new math

Here's the old math:  2x2
Two (boys) x Two (years old), hence the title and inspiration for this blog.

Here's the new math: (2x3) +1
Two (boys) x Three (years old) + One (on the way)
Starting to look a big more complex, isn't it?

 
Today I had an amazing moment with all of my children.  Titus and Micah caught me mid-change with my big old baby belly showing.  They loved it.  They were especially fascinated by the outtie belly button this new baby has caused.  But after poking at that, they both wrapped their arms around my belly, laid their heads against "baby" and cooed.  They have a sound they make for the baby, a sort of "eeee-eeee" squeal-coo kind of noise, a cutesy kind of baby talk.  They also say: "Ba-beeeeee."  They save it for their little sibling.  I almost melted.

As I saw all three of them together, God showed me how easily love multiplies.  It doesn't divide.  Adding a baby to our family does not mean that my time, energy, and love will now be divided three ways.  It does not mean that Titus and Micah will be missing out.  Rather, the love multiplies as there is a new family member to be loved by and to love.  They have the opportunity to know and love a new sibling.  They will be recipients of more love because of this baby.  That's multiplication! 
 
Instead of 2x2=4 we have (2x3)+1=7.  And, in case you're rusty on your math, seven is bigger than four.  It's a very good number.  Maybe I should rename my blog seven.

And that's your math lesson for today. 

Twin Identities Not-in-Crisis

Today at lunchtime, we played a rousing game of "favorites."  My sons are deep in a favorites phase, where they have made strong attachments to particular things, and are learning to identify themselves with these things.  The most obvious one is favorite colors (see this post).  

To keep the fun times rolling, we worked through a few rounds of favorites.
Colors: orange/ red
Food: bread/ apples
Toy: trucks/ ambulance
Song: Jesus Loves Me/ Jesus Loves the Little Children (it has the word "red" in it)
Person to kiss: Mama/ Josh and Pete (haha)

Person to talk to on the phone: Nana and Papa/ Pete

Store: Shoprite/ Target 
Stuffed animal: tiger/ walrus 
Etcetera

They even threw some good ones at me, like what is my favorite room and my favorite fish.

I was amazed at the fact that their answers never overlapped, even when in reality, I'm sure they both love the Lord of the Beans DVD equally.  It's as if, once chosen by a brother, that item is off-limits.  We have a Dr Seuss book that asks "would you rather be a .... or a ..." on each page; they always choose opposing answers.

I take this as a good sign that we are NOT having a twin identity crisis at this phase of life.  They are developing into two distinct people with clear opinions and personalities.  I love this!  

The other week I looked over their Sunday School papers, and found one labeled "Micah" and the other labeled "Titus, definitely not Micah!"  I can only conclude that there was some uncertainty about names which Titus cleared up with some passion.  Good for him.  

Here's some of the things we do with the boys to encourage their individuality:

• Call them by name (almost never "the twins," though I do slip and say "the boys" often; see this post!).  We've done this since day one.
• Ask them individually: Do you want milk?  Would you like more broccoli? Which book would you like to read?  even when I know the answer.  Give each a chance to answer for himself.
• Encourage turn-taking.  "It's Micah's turn.  When he's done, it will be Titus' turn."  Asking them to share or play together is not helpful.
• Take pictures of them individually.  (This is pretty much unavoidable; good luck getting a picture of them together.) 
• Wear different clothes;  have different blankets; etc.
• Follow their developmental cues: I currently have one partly potty-trained and another not even working on it. 
• Surround them with people who love and value them as individuals (big shout out to Papa and Nana, Yaya and Elliott, Ms Linda, Pete and so many others here).