"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Ps 90:12
Today, on a perfectly lovely family Monday (our day "off"), I found myself watching the clock. If the boys get up from their nap now, I calculated, I have to get through five more hours until bedtime.
And then what? What exactly was I looking forward to? Peace and quiet? Time to go on Facebook and find out how everyone else spent their day? Sleep? Prayer time? Starting all over tomorrow?
I know that these are the moments I will treasure for the rest of my life. Not to discount all the previous moments and the ones to come, but really, two-year-old twin boys? It doesn't get much sweeter than this.
Time, numbers, money, fractions, counting... my mind plays games with these things. I credit (blame?) my dad for this... he loved to teach us to count, counting our toes, the steps, you name it, over and over. I've seen him do it with his grandchildren. And along the way I've picked up some strange habits... you may choose to label them otherwise. On the treadmill, I calculate fancy percentages: "I'm 80% done." Walking, I count "one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four..." Coming home from the grocery store, I mentally tally up my purchases and try to match my total to what I paid (coupons make an extra fun challenge!) And when the boys were small, time was our life. When will they be hungry again? How long did they sleep?
We're now at a glorious stage where my sons won't go into a meltdown if dinner is ten minutes or even an hour late. They might nap for two hours or not at all. I have no need to watch the clock obsessively.
I should be obsessively watching my Jesus.
"Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling,
fix your thoughts on Jesus,
the apostle and high priest whom we confess."
Heb 3:1
I don't want to reach the end of my days and long for more time. This is the time. It is good. I choose to spend it well. I often fail. And I ask God to teach me the right way to number my days. If you are with me in clock-watching, spend some time with me meditating on Psalm 90.
wow. I wish I were good with numbers. That's good that you were taught to count everything to. You must be really good at math, no?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your sons won't go into meltdown. It's nice when they nap though, right? It's tough when they don't because you have to deal with their crankiness and hope that you won't become cranky too!!
You know, it's funny- having a baby has had the opposite effect on me. I find that I lose time more quickly, or am more apt to let time go to the wayside. She makes me stop for the first time in my life.
ReplyDeleteThis all might change, though, once we start getting into more of a routine.